HER HONORABLE SUICIDE NOTES.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

baby called me this afternoon and said somethings that is pretty surprisingly delightful
he was asking me about how did my interview this morning
so i was telling him... it pretty interesting etc
Hence he was telling me to do try out stuff to improve my skills since ive nothing much to do
i did sometimes when i feel like it and ive tried some stuff which i like but my computer jus couldnt support like dealing with 3D as my com memory is runnin low
so he suggested me to use his computer instead.
den im like wth... !? how i use.
he said jus go over his place and use.. without him around.
isnt that weird!!!
like i go his place... hi uncle.. go up his room and use com.. as if its my house.
its so obnoxious!
so he continued and said there not much pple his house
mom in the states
bro would only be home at night
maybe jus his dad... but most of the time there's nobody.
so im like... so how i am i gonna go in. i fly in?
den he said " maybe i get u a set of key or something"

I AM EXCEPTIONALLY STUNNED

a set of keys for me to his house!
just for me!

*going crazy

im going haywire because i didnt think this would happen.
baby trust me so much ? (ah... muacks muack to you!)
we have be together for jus close to 5 mths and
this kinda thing came out from you ( as if we have been dating for years... omg )
its sweet, but i doubt i am taking the idea.
its jus so rude... and wrong...

its sweet darling, its really nice of you :)

baby...
why havent you call... it's 930pm.
im waiting like usual

9:03 PM

Monday, July 28, 2008

had an interview in the morning at 9am with Touche Design.

SO EARLY...

tml there's another one... at the same time =.=
im late for 5 -10 mins :S
it went pretty well i guess.
the office is situated at geylang near lor 3.

i know i know, you must be thinking.
"GEYLANG?!" cuz it occured to me too.

but think the other way, im surrounded wit good food everyday.
oh my.. not very good either... ahaha
the company specialise in 2D, more on print.
which is what i am comfortable and good with.
it would be great if im selected as overrrall, the working envt seems adaptable and comfortable.

i want to work and save money! as well as "yang" somebody.
hahahahah!

oh well...

i work on last Friday at the offical opening of T3 event
pretty fun and great/funny experince as i got to walk behind Mr Lee Hsien Leong

got kinda close to him that his bodyguard stared at me :S

All those pple there are rich buggers.
i want to be one of them! zzz

while working, i kept counting down the hours till 6pm.
becuz.. my baby coming back from tekong!
after work, i rushed down to meet him at tenah merah mrt.
it's been 16 days that i havent seen him at all which awkardly evokes a weird mix feeling inside me.

when i first sighted him - in his smart4, dark skin, seems to be slimmer, and his short hair. he stood there waiting and looking at me.
i jus ran up to him afterwhich the stirring weird mix feeling jus dissolves away by e overwhelming happiness upon seeing him.
I am simply jus really happy to see him... well and safe.

spent rest of the time with him.
watch over and pat him to sleep. so cute.
like a toot. hahaha...

Unfortunately,

my macho baby went back to that "the land of GOODBYES" again (and more agains) as i await on this "freedom" island for his return.

which is ON SATURDAY.

so sad.. how sad.. very sad..

i can only like spend a night with him and the following day he's booking in already!
seriously, army need to give a tot for those NS men.

i understand they are training

BOYS INTO MEN...

and MEN INTO SOLDIERS...

and SOLDIERS INTO ...

WHATEVER LAHHHHHH

I DONT CARE!!!!!

( i respect that its all well for our country as well as the people)

however so, they are like taking out 2 years of their life.
jus like that ... POOF!

im like spending 4 days with him in a month.

WTH IS THIS.
cuz army let them out so late... den bring them in so early.

sigh... some guys dont even have the time to spend a decent day with the family.
they should make a strict rule that full days of the Saturday and Sunday are for the family and love ones, and Mondays for booking in.

Let those who are regulars or confinement ones stay in to keep stuff in order.

hmm... nice plan?

baby said that -

" how could you said you are waiting for me... waiting is like not doing anything, jus merely waiting."

"but i am waiting for you to come out what, at the same time finding a job. This isnt call waiting?"

"not really... you are not waiting."

"OKAY... I AM NOT WAITING FOR YOU."

this is him! with his new guitar-lele which he brought over to camp.

"this is what you get when somebody is tryna take a pic of you
and you jus couldnt stop talking"

how cold can he get.
he's a dumb dumb as when i said wait.. it obviously refers to me waiting for him to come back by my side as he's the one and only that i really want to spend most of my time with now. Missing him every moment... so much so that he appeared in my dreams frequently.

how sweet you must be thinking.
noooooooooooo way.
cuz it seems that im always the one missing him!!!
ARGHS!

i actually would rather not to miss anyone cuz the feeling is too horrible

yes, he is toot and a dumb dumb.
but he still will

'always be my baby'.

hey sweet,
dont worry as im always your good baby girl.
Smile more willya? for me?

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
Noooohoh!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry noooh
And I won't beg you to staaaay
If you're determined to leave booy
I will not stand in your waaaay
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end nooooh ooohh

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back boy
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time
Of time!

You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (and we will linger on)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong (ohhhh)
No way you're never gonna shake me (oh baby)
Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby

You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (you and I will always be)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby
(You & I)
(You & I)
(You & I will always be! )

You and I will always be
No way your never gonna shake me
No way your never gonna shake me
You and I will always be

11:53 PM

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

i havent touch my blog for some time, and its time to update it.
wow, i really dont know how to start.

how about life...
life?
still same? same as in mundane or maybe its getting more depressing for me
life in school was much more exciting.
things changes thruough phases of life, in everyones'
and this is my time where i have to venture alone out into the merciless world to battle in order to grow stronger.

im metaphorically saying about getting to work.
well, i have been soughting a suitable job for sometime.
and finding a job is aint a easy 'job' either. get my irony?
Since graduated from sch, ive been to 3 interviews.
Maybe i am picky over jobs, maybe they just doesnt suits me.
well, i am the one have to deal with it for a whole long more time as im the one working anyway, i guess i have the choice to seek for what i like?

oh well...
tml is my forth interview.
:S

i have never had this
"IVE ENOUGH FUN, I WAN TO WORK NOW"
feeling before.
now im tasting it and it made me feel like a dull grown up. --.--
geesh

Anyway, baby left me on the 9th July off to that well-known torturous land of dicks and hairless creatures, where its self-claimed as " where boys become MEN" or perhaps i call it "the land of GOODBYES".
alright, im being a sacarstic ass here.
it was my first time there along with Jacob's dad. 0.0
Jacob's dad was a SIA pilot, and amazingly he doesnt resemble one from any angle. haha... BABY SAID THAT TO ME TOO! HOR!
that tour took friggin 4 hrs... and i end up sleepin in the audi as i am not interested in any other thing else except my baby. Be it even though the fact that i am surrounded by strong well build and dark man or men or boy or boys.
i am so not interested at all... hahah!

had the 'last lunch' tgt and all of them hve to fall in.
had a quick hug and a goodbye kiss.
At that moment, i couldnt bear to see my baby go!!!
jus keep looking at him amoung the others irritating taller boy blockin my view...
GO AWAY LA!! aahah....
after which i "followed" him walking with the others to the parade square,
stupid baby dont even know or looked for me de! :(
while im sitting awkardly with Jacob's dad in the ferry.
i felt so lost and empty.
i left my heart on that "land of GOODBYES" with one current burned botak
:(

this coming friday,
baby is coming back to "freedom island" back by my side, along with my heart.
LOVES!

I JUST CANT WAIT!!!

4:26 PM