HER HONORABLE SUICIDE NOTES.
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C h r i s t i n a. Age 21ish. Student. Full time sleeping beauty. Part time graphic designer, gamer and ass kicker literally... LOL.
Always plugged into rock, indie electro, dubstep and pop sometimes. Dating a fat lazy bum bum name Jacob Lim.
Lives on black and soya bean. Learning how to walk on killer heels and you.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
the world never stop spinning even though some people like is in a shithole.
indeed it didn. Therefore the sun will definately come out one fine day, guding magical lights onto pathways.
life is shit, so is my love. he so contridicting, he could be so mad over his bloodie face and pride. HELLO, PRIDE CAN OFFER U A LIVING IS IT. commenting the nastiest and ridiculous comments that had ever came out from his trap. HE SHOUTED THE MOST "ARGHS" THINGS.
he should be down at the mercy chair before God now, pleading for forgiveness.
i do think sometimes this was triggered because of me, but it really a partial cause of it now. The fuckin problem really lies with him and he didn even feel it! after tt fuckin day, he can blame me everything even thou he's in the fuckin wrong. and THAT BITCH, you watch ya back. Offended someone like Christina is a worst thing u could ever commit in your life. YES, AGREE, THOSE PPLE WHOSE READING THIS?? After whatever he said,hurt and damaged us further, the next day he can just come simply back to me, saying he misses me and tell me he still love me merely through msgin and there's NO ACTION. action speck louder than words MR.BRAINLESS fuck off la, im nt ya toy please. happy happy, say dun love me. lonely lonely, say i love u. are u regretting now? is it before u left me or when u said those nasty words?
wan a patch ? u didn even ask and expect me to understand ya underlying msg and be back with u? try to mine gold out of your toilet bowl. simply means, try harder and it's kinda impossible.
wad he did to me the past few days is too absurd. and when im trying to talk some sense outta him, he retaliated and became negative and again, claim stuff tt's "ARGHS"!!!
Fuck you! im saying this again FUCK YOU!
dumb, but becoming dumber is wad he is now. YES, U MR BRAINLESS. Although i still love him, but the feelings is nt the same anymore. like a strickled matchstick that've burned away.
airhead mathuufucker. he wanna ask me out and can even say "if I free den i call u out" WHAT ? U FREE DEN U CALL ME OUT ? not must make yaself free to go out with me ? what the fuck it this u shithole? u wanna patch back with me with this faggot attitude of yours? oh, i forgot, i didnt name you MR.BRAINLESS for nothing.
sorry, i cursed alot when im feeling really fucked up. getting over him now is not as bad now. I have always looked at a bright side of breakup at times too. even thou u lost one of ya love one dearly, but many came and stood around u.
Friends is always hiding at a little corner of your heart, emerging when in need. Isnt it sweet ?
Thanks alot Lin , Miao and Huikee. i love u guys alot. Lin talked alot about how stupid she was last time and ask me not to be like her. i agree with her that we, women are stupid when comes to loving a man. Huikee, u are so mean while lecturing me, but u care for me and i understand it. Miao, is sweet and showering ove when i felt so unloved.
These 3 are like powerpuff girls. OH. they really are. Huikee will be the buttercup, Lin is Blossom and Miao is Bubbles! hahaha.
i actually do still love him, but realised not much anymore. He's a changed man, to someone scary and strange, oh.. and brainless. i think i jus need some time to cool down. forget, and get on. find other better cute guys.
i think this is a song that can really tell how i felt. By: my chemical romance - famous last words
"Now I know That I can’t make you stay But where’s your heart But where’s your heart But where’s your...
I know There’s nothing I could say To change that part To change that part To change...
So many Bright lights been cast a shadow But can I speak? Well is it hard understanding I’m incomplete A life that’s so demanding I get so weak And all their souls are burning I can’t speak
I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone Honey if you stay, I’ll be forgiven Nothing you can say can stop me going home
Can you see My eyes are shining bright Cause I’m out here On the other side Of the jet black hotel mirror And I’m so weak Is it hard understanding I’m incomplete And all their souls are burning I get weak
I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone Honey if you stay, I’ll be forgiven Nothing you can say can stop me going home
I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone Honey if you stay, I’ll be forgiven Nothing you can say can stop me going home
**These bright lights have always blinded me These bright lights have always blinded me** I said
I see you lying next to me With words I thought I’d never speak Awake and unafraid Asleep or dead
I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven Nothing you can say can stop me going home"
2:02 AM
Thursday, March 22, 2007
i cant believe we ended up just like this. how could this happen?
he jus changed and dun love me anymore? how can this happen overnight? im so hurt and lost. i dunno wad to do.
12:42 AM
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
" -if only god made me a simple girl that dont ask more than life. "
life and days just feel more like motherlode, during the period of existence on the world, we neverendlessly mining for profitable materials.
skills, skills, and more skills. money money and more money. clothes, clothes and more clothes. gadges, gadges and more gadges. friends, friends and more friends. companies, companies and more companies.
we, smartest organisms on earth is always yearning for more for our bound-less satisfactory. This is what is happening to me now. Been so corked up in finding internship companies... (and WAITING) Awaiting for answers from Momorobo and SPH, meanwhile being consume in suspense with time. MAN. i'm left with no more time. suck it. this is really rotting for me. and while waiting, i still have to looked for more. i think im born with a bad life. money is another issue. bahs. y does design have to revolves ard money most of the time too. If only there' "if only" on Earth and everybody would be happily rich and no poverty and war. Where dreams come true and nightmare are fiction. i realised about my entires on blog, i talked more about what i think and thought about life and design sucha stuff. I dont go into much details about what i ate for today, or what i did. i just... it nt my kinda thing to write i guess.
i really longed for a CANON DSLR EOS 400D and a Apple Mac Pro book. I also want a holga cam or any Lomography cam. damn. AND NOT FORGETTING WACOM.
zzzzz, i guess i need a hot rich pimp to get hold all this stuff. fuck it. Singapore has no such hot pimps. HAHA. how about those ci-ko-pek uncles? if only everybody died, even me. hahaha.
4:23 AM
Monday, March 05, 2007
dirt of the days
blogger is getting on my nerve these time as i cant seems to log in everytime, hence pardon my lack of update friends, people or foes.
Many things happened so quickly and past. Firstly it was problems with my poly friends, and apparently i fall out with one of my closest friend, we hanged out since sem 1 and shared opinions, thoughts and even secrets. It's been shocking and hurtful for me about the mail he replied me. Well, nv knew he would be that mean and frank, saying i was childish coward or whatsoever. Everyone has their childish coward time, isnt it ? didnt you? ( yes you!) , and its not up to him to judge. Nv talked or see him since then and he couldnt even care less and why should i? i have been at his side when he felt that the world had it's turn back on him but i didnt. But when i feel that the world's back is already facing me, where is he? It's been sucha waste of this friendship.
Secondly, me and ben fought over sometime and unfortunately broke up the first time after so long. Friends and love slashing at me at the same time, giving me a deep sharp wound pn my physically and mentally. And not forgetting the bloody workload pilling on me giving more uneccesary pressure. i felt like doomsday is nearing.
It felt exactly what i felt back then a few year ago, the pain was so clear and heavy till i could feel and recognised it. Im so lost, hopeless and at the verge of breaking down becoming nothing less but a broken doll. Its really do felt like what ive been through the suffering of the 1st most torturing break up ever. GOD. It felt like a nut just locked into my heart and even my brain.
I cant think i cant breath i cant sleep.
Life seems more like death to me afterwards. Where there no shiny day, no rainbow, no colours.
People i turned to were my secondary sch sistas. Well, till this very day, i still rmb clearly who stood by me when i'm crying over that stupid jackass animal. It was them who brought back Mr sun, kite out the rainbow and painted my visions. Darlings like Lin , Miao and Huikee.
Miao helped me throught the this time, she always so optimistic about life and friends. how i hoped i could be like her. :) Thanks alot my baby cat. meooow~
Anywy, Me and Ben have got back together now, we just couldnt live past any day without each other. He's like my soul and I'm like his. How can a body live with it's soul?
After being through the pain, love for him felt so true and real. Like what a quote goes "no pain no gain" And i dun wanna go through the pain again. Although i always labelled him as stupid and dumb or what so ever, they are just alphabets formed together to get words. It means something but it doesnt mean it meant to the person as called. He in fact kind of perfect to me in my heart.
yes, i love him.
Anywy, i saw this video on you tube. It's realy touches my heart, like a hand came and unscrew the nut that had previously locked into it. And i loveee the song and watched it over and over again. It made me felt that even though life's cruel and merciless, there are still light amoung us which would brighten our day. Take such instance, this video. As its gonna light you very moment now. Enjoy. :)
It's like everybody comes together and celebrates life and harmonous.
Salutes to P E A C E and kill war.
8:11 PM
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
the world never stop spinning even though some people like is in a shithole.
indeed it didn. Therefore the sun will definately come out one fine day, guding magical lights onto pathways.
life is shit, so is my love. he so contridicting, he could be so mad over his bloodie face and pride. HELLO, PRIDE CAN OFFER U A LIVING IS IT. commenting the nastiest and ridiculous comments that had ever came out from his trap. HE SHOUTED THE MOST "ARGHS" THINGS.
he should be down at the mercy chair before God now, pleading for forgiveness.
i do think sometimes this was triggered because of me, but it really a partial cause of it now. The fuckin problem really lies with him and he didn even feel it! after tt fuckin day, he can blame me everything even thou he's in the fuckin wrong. and THAT BITCH, you watch ya back. Offended someone like Christina is a worst thing u could ever commit in your life. YES, AGREE, THOSE PPLE WHOSE READING THIS?? After whatever he said,hurt and damaged us further, the next day he can just come simply back to me, saying he misses me and tell me he still love me merely through msgin and there's NO ACTION. action speck louder than words MR.BRAINLESS fuck off la, im nt ya toy please. happy happy, say dun love me. lonely lonely, say i love u. are u regretting now? is it before u left me or when u said those nasty words?
wan a patch ? u didn even ask and expect me to understand ya underlying msg and be back with u? try to mine gold out of your toilet bowl. simply means, try harder and it's kinda impossible.
wad he did to me the past few days is too absurd. and when im trying to talk some sense outta him, he retaliated and became negative and again, claim stuff tt's "ARGHS"!!!
Fuck you! im saying this again FUCK YOU!
dumb, but becoming dumber is wad he is now. YES, U MR BRAINLESS. Although i still love him, but the feelings is nt the same anymore. like a strickled matchstick that've burned away.
airhead mathuufucker. he wanna ask me out and can even say "if I free den i call u out" WHAT ? U FREE DEN U CALL ME OUT ? not must make yaself free to go out with me ? what the fuck it this u shithole? u wanna patch back with me with this faggot attitude of yours? oh, i forgot, i didnt name you MR.BRAINLESS for nothing.
sorry, i cursed alot when im feeling really fucked up. getting over him now is not as bad now. I have always looked at a bright side of breakup at times too. even thou u lost one of ya love one dearly, but many came and stood around u.
Friends is always hiding at a little corner of your heart, emerging when in need. Isnt it sweet ?
Thanks alot Lin , Miao and Huikee. i love u guys alot. Lin talked alot about how stupid she was last time and ask me not to be like her. i agree with her that we, women are stupid when comes to loving a man. Huikee, u are so mean while lecturing me, but u care for me and i understand it. Miao, is sweet and showering ove when i felt so unloved.
These 3 are like powerpuff girls. OH. they really are. Huikee will be the buttercup, Lin is Blossom and Miao is Bubbles! hahaha.
i actually do still love him, but realised not much anymore. He's a changed man, to someone scary and strange, oh.. and brainless. i think i jus need some time to cool down. forget, and get on. find other better cute guys.
i think this is a song that can really tell how i felt. By: my chemical romance - famous last words
"Now I know That I can’t make you stay But where’s your heart But where’s your heart But where’s your...
I know There’s nothing I could say To change that part To change that part To change...
So many Bright lights been cast a shadow But can I speak? Well is it hard understanding I’m incomplete A life that’s so demanding I get so weak And all their souls are burning I can’t speak
I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone Honey if you stay, I’ll be forgiven Nothing you can say can stop me going home
Can you see My eyes are shining bright Cause I’m out here On the other side Of the jet black hotel mirror And I’m so weak Is it hard understanding I’m incomplete And all their souls are burning I get weak
I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone Honey if you stay, I’ll be forgiven Nothing you can say can stop me going home
I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone Honey if you stay, I’ll be forgiven Nothing you can say can stop me going home
**These bright lights have always blinded me These bright lights have always blinded me** I said
I see you lying next to me With words I thought I’d never speak Awake and unafraid Asleep or dead
I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven Nothing you can say can stop me going home"
2:02 AM
Thursday, March 22, 2007
i cant believe we ended up just like this. how could this happen?
he jus changed and dun love me anymore? how can this happen overnight? im so hurt and lost. i dunno wad to do.
12:42 AM
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
" -if only god made me a simple girl that dont ask more than life. "
life and days just feel more like motherlode, during the period of existence on the world, we neverendlessly mining for profitable materials.
skills, skills, and more skills. money money and more money. clothes, clothes and more clothes. gadges, gadges and more gadges. friends, friends and more friends. companies, companies and more companies.
we, smartest organisms on earth is always yearning for more for our bound-less satisfactory. This is what is happening to me now. Been so corked up in finding internship companies... (and WAITING) Awaiting for answers from Momorobo and SPH, meanwhile being consume in suspense with time. MAN. i'm left with no more time. suck it. this is really rotting for me. and while waiting, i still have to looked for more. i think im born with a bad life. money is another issue. bahs. y does design have to revolves ard money most of the time too. If only there' "if only" on Earth and everybody would be happily rich and no poverty and war. Where dreams come true and nightmare are fiction. i realised about my entires on blog, i talked more about what i think and thought about life and design sucha stuff. I dont go into much details about what i ate for today, or what i did. i just... it nt my kinda thing to write i guess.
i really longed for a CANON DSLR EOS 400D and a Apple Mac Pro book. I also want a holga cam or any Lomography cam. damn. AND NOT FORGETTING WACOM.
zzzzz, i guess i need a hot rich pimp to get hold all this stuff. fuck it. Singapore has no such hot pimps. HAHA. how about those ci-ko-pek uncles? if only everybody died, even me. hahaha.
4:23 AM
Monday, March 05, 2007
dirt of the days
blogger is getting on my nerve these time as i cant seems to log in everytime, hence pardon my lack of update friends, people or foes.
Many things happened so quickly and past. Firstly it was problems with my poly friends, and apparently i fall out with one of my closest friend, we hanged out since sem 1 and shared opinions, thoughts and even secrets. It's been shocking and hurtful for me about the mail he replied me. Well, nv knew he would be that mean and frank, saying i was childish coward or whatsoever. Everyone has their childish coward time, isnt it ? didnt you? ( yes you!) , and its not up to him to judge. Nv talked or see him since then and he couldnt even care less and why should i? i have been at his side when he felt that the world had it's turn back on him but i didnt. But when i feel that the world's back is already facing me, where is he? It's been sucha waste of this friendship.
Secondly, me and ben fought over sometime and unfortunately broke up the first time after so long. Friends and love slashing at me at the same time, giving me a deep sharp wound pn my physically and mentally. And not forgetting the bloody workload pilling on me giving more uneccesary pressure. i felt like doomsday is nearing.
It felt exactly what i felt back then a few year ago, the pain was so clear and heavy till i could feel and recognised it. Im so lost, hopeless and at the verge of breaking down becoming nothing less but a broken doll. Its really do felt like what ive been through the suffering of the 1st most torturing break up ever. GOD. It felt like a nut just locked into my heart and even my brain.
I cant think i cant breath i cant sleep.
Life seems more like death to me afterwards. Where there no shiny day, no rainbow, no colours.
People i turned to were my secondary sch sistas. Well, till this very day, i still rmb clearly who stood by me when i'm crying over that stupid jackass animal. It was them who brought back Mr sun, kite out the rainbow and painted my visions. Darlings like Lin , Miao and Huikee.
Miao helped me throught the this time, she always so optimistic about life and friends. how i hoped i could be like her. :) Thanks alot my baby cat. meooow~
Anywy, Me and Ben have got back together now, we just couldnt live past any day without each other. He's like my soul and I'm like his. How can a body live with it's soul?
After being through the pain, love for him felt so true and real. Like what a quote goes "no pain no gain" And i dun wanna go through the pain again. Although i always labelled him as stupid and dumb or what so ever, they are just alphabets formed together to get words. It means something but it doesnt mean it meant to the person as called. He in fact kind of perfect to me in my heart.
yes, i love him.
Anywy, i saw this video on you tube. It's realy touches my heart, like a hand came and unscrew the nut that had previously locked into it. And i loveee the song and watched it over and over again. It made me felt that even though life's cruel and merciless, there are still light amoung us which would brighten our day. Take such instance, this video. As its gonna light you very moment now. Enjoy. :)
It's like everybody comes together and celebrates life and harmonous.
Salutes to P E A C E and kill war.
8:11 PM
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