C h r i s t i n a.
Age 21ish. Student. Full time sleeping beauty. Part time graphic designer, gamer and ass kicker literally... LOL.
Always plugged into rock, indie electro, dubstep and pop sometimes. Dating a fat lazy bum bum name Jacob Lim.
Lives on black and soya bean. Learning how to walk on killer heels and you.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
ive heard some unpleasant comments about my skills in hockey.
kinda pissed of that person as she couldnt understand & had always gives nasty comments.
i agree i suck... for now but doesnt mean u have the rights to comment, "cant stand me" and whatever i do was poor.
i wonder how would u feel if u were me.
People like her have to learn what is empathy and feels it.
someone, please get her into it.
if not, other pple might get hurt in the heart like me.
at the same time, i also feel disppointed and depressed for myself.
ive tried, like what i have always been doin the past trainings.
I just dunno what i should asked more from myself.
i just want to play hockey and i love it.
dun stop me in tt.
i dun wan someone thats bad and nasty, making me feel lousy and eventually get out of hockey.
NO. i dun wan it to be that case. i m not gonna be tt sort.
i wanna do better.
been bottling my feelings for a long time.
just dunno who to share with, one of my bestfriend is busy with girlfriend, another has much problems for herself. I dun share with Benjamin because i dun feel like it. Other closed girlfriends i have, its been a long time since i shared stuff with them because of poly life, design is a busy place to be in.
Its weird of i feel weird if i just blurt out of a sudden to them.
its beens a few years since i have really opened my heart and share my downess part of my life to anyone. i rmb the last person i ever opened my heart and cried was with Sam on the phone. we bearly know each other for 2 years plus, but i regard him a friend tt i could share my thoughts with as we both just clicked well since the first day i met him in sch. thinking back den, he's an emo freak, so m i. it's funny in a way.
maybe emo+emo=medicine.
anywy, now its blogger and those pple who are unfortunate to read my sad entry of my life. now, you know the sad and emo part of Christina.
BIG DISCOVERY.
That's not my point.
i think i am facing some identity crisis once AGAIN.
and yes. I HATE IT and now, its always in hockey.
i mean, the one i always hang out with in sch will "changed" during training.
and im left alone.
they would clutter together as a group.
chat happily and laughed happily.
hanging out or have lunch. sometimes can even ask other pple to join them infront of me without asking me.
maybe some pple in the group doesnt like me.
that's too bad cuz i can be a great friend to have fun with, i just need to be opened to someone i trust.
and i have nothing to talk about to them and they always didnt look or seems interested to even strike a conversation with me.
ive been ignoring the situation for a long time, thats something ive learned in life. Therefore u will see me L E S S talkative in hockey, so anybody wanna know the quiet side of Christina? come join hockey. And u'll see me emoing one corner. (not so exergerating la) however still i'm bothered by it, who wouldnt ?
all these circumstance have made me feels belittle.
it is terrible to anyone who have experienced.
i believed everyone would ahve been through once or every part of their life.
i dun wanna be thick-skinned person, be a fly, stick to them jus for the sake of hanging out. i wanna have people which what we call "friends"
i dun understand why they could really bear to leave some pple at the back of the grp. I have heard alot of gossip politics gossips politics gossip politics over and over again in hockey. sometimes i wonder, why even bother? this is the part i dun understand about the some humans in life. Maybe i m sensitive. baaahs. If someone was quiet all of a sudden and sitting by a corner, i would be concern and bother to ask her why or to acc her. i dun like pple to be left alone at the edge of the world and letting them think their life aint worth a person attention.
i jus wanna let it out here.
no offensive remark meant here.
i suddenly missed secondary school days.
where my silly nutty sistas would be attentive and concern enough to know something wrong about me when i m quiet.
loves u guys although i dun have time to hang out with u guys.
2:42 AM
